Friday, June 7, 2013

fears of motherhood

Week 28 has brought out the emotional Malary. I have been pretty normal throughout the pregnancy hormone wise but this week it has hit me like a ton of bricks. Crying constantly for the silliest reasons... as in I couldn't figure out what I wanted for dinner, I lost the remote, James working late one day kind of silly. It is kind of embarrassing looking back but at the time I was devastated. I have also been really emotional for other reasons that seem a little more legit. One of them is being this little boy's momma. My entire life when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up my answer was a teacher and a mom. It is the one thing I knew I just had to be in life and now it is finally happening. I am carrying this little human being in my belly and in less than 12 weeks I will be completely responsible for him. I will need to keep him alive and lately I have started to get scared. What if I do something wrong, what if I am not a "natural", what if he cries all the time and I can't soothe him, what if he hates me. There are so many fears that have started to take over me. I know that I need to just continue to pray about it and trust God. He has a plan for me and wouldn't give me what I couldn't handle.

This morning I was reading something and came across a blog where this video was posted. It was crazy how this video kind of just fell into my lap the week I needed it (Thanks God). I cried the entire time watching this and realizing that I am not alone in feeling scared and incompetent put my heart as ease (a little).

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1 comment:

  1. it's nice to know that I am not alone in feeling like that! so thankful for other woman sharing their fears too! :) and I said the same thing growing up - a teacher and a mom!


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